Stop Trying to Build Your Man, You Should Only Support Him — Pastor Bolaji Idowu Warns Women
Senior Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre, Bolaji Idowu, has advised women to reconsider taking on the role of “builders” in their romantic relationships.
Preaching during a recent service, Idowu cautioned that many women were overextending themselves by trying to fix their partners’ financial and personal struggles rather than focusing on emotional support.
“You are not called to build your man, you are called to support your man,” he told the congregation. “I’m telling you because some of you have become Bob the Builder – ‘My car is bad,’ ‘I will fix it for you.’ ‘I can’t pay house rent,’ ‘I will pay for you.’ You are meant to support, you are not meant to be the builder.”
The Lagos-based preacher argued that women who assume the role of “Bob the Builder” often end up sliding into another extreme, becoming what he described as “Mother Theresa,” where they feel compelled to correct and constantly manage their partners.
“Once you become Bob the Builder, a negative side is you will also be Mother Theresa,” Idowu said. “This means that you will now become the corrector. So, when you pick up the guy, he is struggling, you build him up and then he says, ‘I don’t see us that way,’ because you weren’t building the romantic side, you were becoming Bob the Builder.”
His sermon, which drew reactions online after clips surfaced on social media, has sparked renewed debate around gender roles, financial responsibility, and expectations in modern relationships.
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